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Kottbullar

Age/Gender: 20, Male
Location: Germany
Job: Doing Army Stuff

I am the guy who slaps his balls against your mum's forehead

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Entry #16

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Kottbullar

Brb, bootcamp

Posted by Kottbullar Jul. 10, 2009 @ 11:59 AM EDT

Today is my last day in freedom because tomorrow I'm getting conscripted.
Obviously I wasn't retarded enough to skip this phase of growing up in Germany and since I couldn't be fucked to compose a completely hypocritical conscientious objection, either based on religious aspects (I'm as religious as Karl Marx god damnit... maybe I should found the church of genitals or something) or based on pacifist reasons (gay) and instead applying for alternative service (which often is even more annoying anyway).

Dicks

Well, now I'm sitting here, packing my bags, mentally preparing for the army.
Fortunately it's only 9 months I'll have to join them, of which 3 months are basic drill.
This means, for the next time I probably won't be with you guys... Maybe I can go home at some weekends but I honestly don't know about how much spare time I will have yet.

Anyway, so I'll be pretty much hanging around at the barracks, learning some maybe interesting shit, shooting some bullets just to be able to say, "carrying a rifle feels like having a second dick", earning some money my insanely indebted country gives me for the whole shit and hopefully have a nice time until my basic military service is over.
Until then, have a nice time without me.
Cya at the weekends

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The People Have Spoken

12 Comments

Jul. 10, 2009 | 12:58 PM DN83 says:

user picture fails.

Jul. 11, 2009 | 2:46 PM Kottbullar responds:

And you have no taste motherfucker


Jul. 14, 2009 | 8:21 AM Hildebrandt says:

You gotta write some shit about Ghandi, civil rights movement etc.- always works (worked for me...)-
Naja, jetzt is zu spät. Nimm dirn Korken mit für die Dusche ;D

Jul. 17, 2009 | 11:40 AM Kottbullar responds:

lmfao danke für den Tipp^^


Jul. 26, 2009 | 4:31 AM Clock-Ninja says:

you got some nice abs there boy

Jul. 26, 2009 | 8:48 AM Kottbullar responds:

I'm rather losing them... the sports program is pathetic

Updated: Jul. 26, 2009, 8:48 AM

Jul. 26, 2009 | 7:07 PM kevmcg says:

Lol conscription, what kind of backward ass country is Germany?

Jul. 31, 2009 | 6:39 PM Kottbullar responds:

A really backward-ass one... conservative as shit... at least the instructors are fun sometimes...


Jul. 31, 2009 | 8:27 PM AronKong says:

Dam your banner is fucking awsome

Aug. 2, 2009 | 4:45 AM Kottbullar responds:

Thanks ;3


Aug. 17, 2009 | 3:10 AM Magyar says:

ARE YOU DEAD YET?
because that would suck


Aug. 17, 2009 | 5:11 PM amonkeyonfire says:

im backing away from this user page...


Aug. 25, 2009 | 4:43 PM Spammerguy says:

Unban me plox.
I'll write a 400 word essay about the sky.


Aug. 25, 2009 | 4:44 PM Spammerguy says:

Lord Zenu, cast his mighty sceptor at the once blackened atmosphere and then sent up a soul as a sacrifice to paint the sky red with its blood. Zenu, seeing the error of his ways pissed himself laughing at the comedy show, turning the sky orange as it mixed the urine with blood. With this new color, the clouds rained a mighty gold and red shower known in the Bible as The Last Supper. Jesus, confronting Zenu on the mess the sky had created, bitchslapped the lord, making him shed blue tears that evaporated and filled the sky with its new color.

It didn't take long before it started to rain, again making the atmospheric sky devoid of all its color. The new lord Jesus, saw that he couldn't bitchslap Zenu every single time it rained, so he came up with a plan. He realized that many followed him for his expertise in knowledge of cats, particularly Persians, so he decided to round up 300 of his followers in a stand against the Persians. Jesus stood against the evil Tyrants with every grope he received. After the bloodsoaked field of each sides' casualties, Jesus regrouped with his remaining men for one last stand against the tyrant head of Persia.

He decided the only way to resolve the battle would be with a game of Chess.
As the head of the Persians, and Jesus set up their pieces, Jesus started to complain that The head of the persians, also known as Bill Gates, had white pieces meaning that he goes first. At which point Bill Gates said Blacks always go second, and shortly thereafter was gunned down by a passing automobile. Jesus, still setting up his pieces, declared himself the winner and took a piss on Bill, creating once again an orange sky.

Jesus realized he had accomplished nothing but to get back where he originally started. So, he decided the only way to get the sky to become a permanent blue was to make everybody cry. Instead of organizing a mass party of 300 more men, he would do something a bit more strategic. So, he set off to Romania where pissed off the Romans to the brink that they nailed him to a giant T, and went under the line, "I died for your sins" so that we may cry every Easter and fill the sky with its rich blue color once more.


Aug. 25, 2009 | 4:46 PM Spammerguy says:

Fun stats!
-Braincell loss after writing essay: 5000 (1000 less than normal)
-Brand new Essay Format (no thesis or conclusion, just context)
-BootCamp sucks!
-Micheal Jackson is actually Seth Green.


Oct. 10, 2009 | 1:40 PM alkakrepierer says:

schick ma ne beretta nach brake ich würd mich freuen


Oct. 16, 2009 | 9:24 AM Havayosunu says:

oh I hope you ll return home as in one piece :)
We Turks too have conscription system here btw. Thank god I study at university, or I d probably be in contact with terrorists as a private now.

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